May 2013

Rez-ervation for Two.

..........It was nearly 6 pm, the desert skies bright and blue; the sun making it's way towards sunset as I drove along AZ-95 through Parker, AZ. I felt almost an 'other worldly' energy as I traveled the highway. Then I saw him. Even from behind the wheel of my car this was the biggest rattlesnake I've ever seen; so long and wide that his diamond pattern stood out with almost unnatural beauty and clarity in the bright afternoon sun. Even tho' protected in my 'metal shell' I still felt a 'fear' of him. I slowed down as I watched him do his sidewinding dance across the highway in front of me. His length seemed to stretch the width of the entire lane as he headed towards the safety of the brush at the side of the road. My very 'active' imagination had the thought that I was seeing something rare; this was an 'ancient' snake and the word 'king' came to mind. I realized I was still approaching him too fast and he had not yet cleared the roadway. I did not slow enough, and ran him over. I felt horrified; and that quickly followed with a thought that was distasteful to my soul. I laughed; and mocked him with thoughts and words that at least that snake was not going to bite anyone.....and then my eyes looked into the rearview mirror.....this 'king' had risen to almost full height and our eyes met in the mirror.....time slowed and nearly stood still as in the 'twinkling of an eye' I 'saw' the shaman....my mind was racing along with my heart. I was overwhelmed with shame and sorrow. I stole another glance in the mirror and both were gone. It seemed like Creation moaned and it was my voice that I heard; crying. The 'Lessons' have come fast and furious since that day. Within 24 hours I experienced the most unsettling and disturbing dream, the likes of which I had never had before......I seemed to be struggling to escape this nightmare and yet could not wake up; it only ended when I was awakened by my own voice crying out 'why?'....and my sobbing was uncontrollable and I was shaken to the core of my being. First of many lessons yet to come:  ...Never take joy in ending the Life of anything in God's Creation.